Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Remember the phrase “question authority”? Loving What Is is a workbook on questioning authority–but in this case, what is in question is the authority of our own fundamental beliefs about our relationships.Known simply as “The Work,” Byron Katie’s methods are clean and straightforward. The basis is a series of four questions addressed to your own lists of written assumptions. Whether you’re angry with your boss, frustrated with your teen’s behavior, or appalled at the state of the world’s environment × Environment
n.noun en·vi·ron·ment The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines environment as the surroundings or conditions in which a person, animal, or plant lives or operates. A person's environment, or social surroundings, have an enormous impact on the way that person thinks and operates. If a person is surrounded by negativity, he/she is more likely to replicate that negativity and display negative behaviors in other areas of life. The environment of a troubled teen can often be the root cause or factor in the troubled adolescent's negative behavior. When an impressionable teenage boy or girl is surrounded by negative peers, it is common for these teens to develop negative behaviors themselves. It is for this reason that parents should be aware of their child's social surroundings and environmental influences. If a teenage boy or girl is troubled, a total change in their environment may be in order. By replacing a troubled teen's negative environment with that of a therapeutic, nurturing and rehabilitative environment, troubled adolescents are able to emotional, therapeutic and behavioral restoration.
, Katie suggests you write down your most honest thoughts on the matter, and then begin the examination. Starting with, “Is it true?” and continuing with explorations of “Who would you be without that thought?” this method allows you to get through unhelpful preconceptions and find peace. An integral part of the process is “turning the thought around,” and at first this can seem like you’re simply blaming yourself for everything. Push a little harder, and you’ll find a very responsible acceptance of reality, beyond questions of fault and blame. The book is filled with examples of folks applying The Work to a variety of life situations, and reading other’s examples gets the idea across pretty clearly; chances are you’ll find your own frustrations echoed on the pages a few times. Many chapters are divided into specific topics, such as couples, money, addictions, and self-judgments, with one chapter devoted to exploring the method with children.Questioning your own authority is never an easy process, but it seems well worth the potential rewards–stress-free choices, peace, and affection for those closest to you. 

— by Jill Lightner