Relapse, Positive Peer Pressure And Know When To Let Go

My son has been home from residential treatment three weeks and now it is difficult to imagine our house without him. Having two teenage boys keeps me busy and on my toes. I like to think of myself as a vigilant mother, therefore I like to know what my kids are doing and where they are at all times. My excuse to them is  “What if there was an earthquake?”.  Living in California there is always an earthquake looming.Earthquakes are not always caused by mother nature, sometimes we have human produced earthquakes in our everyday lives. We had a couple over the Fourth of July weekend one that I really do not want to go into detail about since it was a relapse and devastating at the time. I think it was the relapse that I knew was looming out there and we had to get over it. I am just hoping that he has learned from his mistake and will make better choices next time. We seem to be getting back on track.

Consequences Of Drug Abuse In Teens

I will admit I was really disappointed when it happened and it brought up a lot of negative memories. Needless to say I was very mad and spent 24 hours ranting to my son, that he had not even been home for 3 weeks and we already were talking to ——. He is safe, has consequences × Consequences
n. noun con·se·quences The Merriam- Webster dictionary provides the following definitions for consequences: 1.the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier: The accident was the consequence of reckless driving. 2.an act or instance of following something as an effect, result, or outcome. Consequences is a prevalent issue in the life of a troubled teen. Troubled adolescents who suffer from negative consequences, do so because of their poor decision making. Whatever choice a teenage boy or girl decides to make, a consequence of that decision will soon follow. If a teen chooses to make productive choices in life, he/she will reap the benefits of positive consequences. However, if a teen makes poor choices such as, abuse drugs and alcohol, skipping class, hanging out with the wrong crowd or disobeying parents and authority, that teen will reap negative consequences. Negative consequences such as, legal troubles, being grounded from parents, or getting kicked out of school due to inactivity or rebelliousness, are all viable and likely negative consequences a teen will experience if he or she is making poor choices.
and luckily they are not real bad, he will also pay the expenses incurred by his over indulgence. Luckily he still has his job and has the means to pay us back. I am so thankful for this job. But one thing I have learned from residential treatment and its philosophy, is not to dwell on the past, you have to move on. Give them the consequences stick to them and move on. Hopefully he learned from his mistake and this will not be a recurring event.  What is the different about this time versus the past? He has accepted the consequences, has not yelled at us and told us how unreasonable we are and he did not run away. I think he knows he made a big mistake and a scary one at that. He also does not appear to be proud of it.

Theraputic Boarding School Treatment Can Help

Moving on to teen son #2 whom is struggling with having to do school work during the summer. There is definitely some entitlement issues going on here. He hates math and is in summer school retaking Algebra because he failed his last semester. He thought taking courses during the summer meant you did not have to do the work, because it is a “summer school class”.  Almost half way through the summer session, I find out he is not doing the work and flunking summer school! This week – privileges are removed no phone, computer or skateboard. It was pretty ugly for about 24 hours, he was determined not to give in and I was not going to budge. Then his older brother (the one home from residential treatment) steps in. He offered to talk to him; I think he empathized with what he was going through and told me he did not want to see him miss his “high school years” (maybe he thought we were going to send him to an RTC). The boys really have not had a close relationship since my son returned home so I did not think much would come out of it. I guess after two years of a therapeutic boarding school, one learns how to help their peers × Peers
Peers /peer/ Peers are the people of which a person associates. Peers have a strong influence on person’s thoughts, actions, and will also play a key part in how a person develops and will determine who a person will become. Peers always have an influence but occur especially in a person’s youth. Parents should make it a priority to inform children of how important their peer group is on them. Discussions about this topic can help to prevent children from choosing friends that could lead them down dangerous paths. Peers who involve themselves in negative behaviors will begin to oppose school and parents and can also influence others in the peer group to do the same. It is important to support the finding of positively influential peers for children. However, peers can also help uplift others to strive to become better and want success. Those are the peers you should surround yourself with and also your children.
when they are struggling. He told me it was important that he get support × Support
Support / sup·port/ n. Noun Support is defined as the act or instance of supporting; serve as a foundation for something else. Support can be given to many different ways. Through the encouragement to perform and progress and also through being there for someone who needs help. Support is usually shown through family and peers but can come from anywhere from support centers, rehab centers, and treatment centers. Without a support, confidence would be very difficult to find. Support is key to getting through trials and problems. The ability to have someone that is supporting you and encouraging you to move forward and progress is important to growth and change. Especially with youth, that as they are trying to find out who they are that they feel supported in all of their doings. This is important because as support and encouragement is shown the youth feel confident to become the best they can be.
from someone that was not an authority figure. All I can say  he managed to turn the situation around, he has now studied with his father and is trying to pass some of the tests so that he can get his privileges back. I know he can do it, this is the third time he has taken the class!! I have learned that once again I had to step aside and let fait take its course. Even though we have our struggles I think the positive is still outweighing the negatives. What makes me the happiest is that we are a family working together. Maybe not the most functional, but we are trying.