Teen Manipulator: I Know How to Play My Parents Like A Violin

Does this sound like your relationship with your teen child? Do you feel manipulated and out of control? If so, you are not alone. As children mature and develop adult behaviors, they try hard to learn how to take control of their circumstances. Depending on your level of connectedness, an adolescent child will often use manipulation as a way of claiming his or her autonomy in the family structure. It’s actually quite normal for kids to test these boundaries, but it can turn into a problem if parents lose authority as the head of the family. Zion Educational Systems Family Advocates can help parents find answers for their troubled children. Call 866-471-8579 to learn more.

Help for Parents Whose Lose Control of Their Kids

Teenagers learn which buttons to punch from the time they can speak. And as they get older, the techniques improve, sometimes to the point of being master manipulators. They will take the steam-roller approach that worked as a child – Can I mommy? Can I mommy? Can I mommy? – and perfect it. But stand firm, and remain emotionless. Set your bottom line and stand by it. Whatever you do, don’t engage in the ensuing tantrum because that is the next step in their strategy. If your child can make you angry enough, you will give up, and they know it. If you remain calm, then the lying will start or they will try to make you feel guilty for something. If you can stay strong, your child may give up, at least for a while. When possible, allow your child to make choices between things that are acceptable to you. The adolescent mind is not fully developed until well into their twenties, so your teenager often lacks the ability to see consequences × Consequences
n. noun con·se·quences The Merriam- Webster dictionary provides the following definitions for consequences: 1.the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier: The accident was the consequence of reckless driving. 2.an act or instance of following something as an effect, result, or outcome. Consequences is a prevalent issue in the life of a troubled teen. Troubled adolescents who suffer from negative consequences, do so because of their poor decision making. Whatever choice a teenage boy or girl decides to make, a consequence of that decision will soon follow. If a teen chooses to make productive choices in life, he/she will reap the benefits of positive consequences. However, if a teen makes poor choices such as, abuse drugs and alcohol, skipping class, hanging out with the wrong crowd or disobeying parents and authority, that teen will reap negative consequences. Negative consequences such as, legal troubles, being grounded from parents, or getting kicked out of school due to inactivity or rebelliousness, are all viable and likely negative consequences a teen will experience if he or she is making poor choices.
in the future. As the adult, you must guide their decisions and never agree to anything that is dangerous or ill-suited for your child. Stay calm and don’t engage in their negativity. Let your children know that you love them and that you understand their frustration. And remember, this too shall pass.