Tips for Parents Troubled Teens | Develop Better Family Communication

Being a parent of a troubled teen can be very demanding and confusing, and family communication is the most important element to a healthy family and teen. By setting proper guidelines for your teen will help your struggling teen understand your family values. Not holding teens to the family standards will portray that acting out will be tolerated by the parents. Sometimes the issues have been established and un addressed for long periods of time and intervention is needed. If this becomes the case, Zion Educational Systems has extremely talented and educated individuals dedicated to family restoration and finding the absolute best solution for your troubled teen. By calling 866-417-8579 you can speak with one of our child placing specialists who will walk you through the vast amount of potential solutions for your family. SETTING BETTER LIMITS Limits and rules are necessary to create order and productivity, the lack of which create chaos and confusion. Rules provide the basis for understanding of what is expected, whether in the workplace, classroom, community or family. If a classroom had no rules, very little learning would occur. If a community operated without rules it would cease to be a safe place to live. Likewise, if harmony is to be maintained within the family, there must be a proper set of family rules, understandings or expectations that are based on your family values. If your teen is usually compliant and responsible, you will probably only need a few rules. However, if you are dealing with a difficult or defiant teen, you may already recognize the need for more discipline × Discipline
n.noun dis·ci·pline Discipline is one’s ability to do the right thing, regardless of how they feel. Discipline is one of the most difficult things for a person to develop as it takes hard work, dedication, and can take years to achieve. Those who develop strong discipline tend to be more successful and happier than those who do not develop strong discipline. Troubled teens are notorious for their lack of discipline. In fact, their lack of discipline is likely the root cause of almost all of their issues. Furthermore, if troubled teens develop discipline, they will be able to overcome their shortcomings and change their live for the better. Parents of troubled teens who are in desperate need of discipline have many options to choose from. These options include, therapeutic boarding schools for troubled teens, group homes, residential treatment centers and even boot camps for troubled teens. However, boot camps are considered ineffective and a “quick fix” that yields no long lasting changes.
and clearly defined structure. When setting rules, you first establish the basic core rules which we must abide by, then support × Support
Support / sup·port/ n. Noun Support is defined as the act or instance of supporting; serve as a foundation for something else. Support can be given to many different ways. Through the encouragement to perform and progress and also through being there for someone who needs help. Support is usually shown through family and peers but can come from anywhere from support centers, rehab centers, and treatment centers. Without a support, confidence would be very difficult to find. Support is key to getting through trials and problems. The ability to have someone that is supporting you and encouraging you to move forward and progress is important to growth and change. Especially with youth, that as they are trying to find out who they are that they feel supported in all of their doings. This is important because as support and encouragement is shown the youth feel confident to become the best they can be.
these core rules by establishing several preventative rules. Here’s an example: If you have a core rule that states: "You may not use drugs" then you will want to set some preventative rules such as those concerning: WHO are the kind of peers × Peers
Peers /peer/ Peers are the people of which a person associates. Peers have a strong influence on person’s thoughts, actions, and will also play a key part in how a person develops and will determine who a person will become. Peers always have an influence but occur especially in a person’s youth. Parents should make it a priority to inform children of how important their peer group is on them. Discussions about this topic can help to prevent children from choosing friends that could lead them down dangerous paths. Peers who involve themselves in negative behaviors will begin to oppose school and parents and can also influence others in the peer group to do the same. It is important to support the finding of positively influential peers for children. However, peers can also help uplift others to strive to become better and want success. Those are the peers you should surround yourself with and also your children.
your teen associates with; WHAT type of activities are allowed by you; WHEN your teen may go and what time they should return. It’s foolish to think that your teen may hang out at bad places or associate with defiant and/or drug using peers, yet still remain drug-free. If good grades are a family requirement, then proper attendance, daily homework completion, and obtaining weekly progress reports are good supportive(preventative) measures. You don’t want to wait until the end of the semester to find out your teen has been doing poorly. Set rules and habits that support and maximize good grades along the way and this will greatly enhance your child’s chances for success. Preventative/supportive rules help your teen begin to moderate their own behavior and to better realize their successes with a step by step method. Conflict over these rules may be inevitable. However, the consistent addressing and resolution of conflict over these smaller preventive issues like homework, dress, grooming and curfew, will be your best measures to avoid conflict over large devastating issues like teen pregnancy, substance abuse × Substance Abuse
Substance Abuse /sub.stance/ /a.buse/ Substance abuse is defined as the use of a chemical substance that has an effect on humans or animals improperly or in a negative view or purpose. Substances involve different types of drugs and also alcohol.  The misuse of a chemical substance can be very dangerous and can be the cause of many different types of problems such as impairment and also distress. Along with physical problems that can come from recurrent substance abuse, there are many  other problems that can occur.  A lack of interest in schooling and work can lead to failure fulfillment of roles and obligations in different settings of life.  Also, a poor performance in daily actions can be a cause. Substance abuse is a problem that is important to deal with in an appropriate manner.  There are many different programs that are available to help fix these types of problems to rehabilitate someone’s life. More information about substance abuse in the US The national institute on drug abuse characterize substance abuse as, “as a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences. It is considered a brain disease because drugs change the brain; they change its structure and how it works. These brain changes can be long lasting and can lead to many harmful, often self-destructive, behaviors.’ When pertaining to the adolescent brain and psyche, substance abuse and addiction is one of the most dangerous and common negative behaviors in troubled youth. Teenagers who participate in drug abuse are either not aware of the potential permanent damage they are causing themselves, or simply don’t care. It is because of this reason that parents of substance abusing teens need to seek immediate treatment for their son or daughter. Fortunately for parents, there is a multitude and increasing number of options to choose from in terms of rehabilitation. Furthermore, parents of substance abusing teens need to seek treatment for their teens promptly.
, and failing grades. REMEMBER, IF YOU CONTINUE TO DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID, YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT! COMPLIANCE WITH RULES/LIMITS Once you have established your set of rules, compliance with the rules will depend on four things: 1.The rules must be clearly defined and understood. 2.The rules must be monitored. 3.The rules must be enforced. 4.Consequences × Consequences
n. noun con·se·quences The Merriam- Webster dictionary provides the following definitions for consequences: 1.the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier: The accident was the consequence of reckless driving. 2.an act or instance of following something as an effect, result, or outcome. Consequences is a prevalent issue in the life of a troubled teen. Troubled adolescents who suffer from negative consequences, do so because of their poor decision making. Whatever choice a teenage boy or girl decides to make, a consequence of that decision will soon follow. If a teen chooses to make productive choices in life, he/she will reap the benefits of positive consequences. However, if a teen makes poor choices such as, abuse drugs and alcohol, skipping class, hanging out with the wrong crowd or disobeying parents and authority, that teen will reap negative consequences. Negative consequences such as, legal troubles, being grounded from parents, or getting kicked out of school due to inactivity or rebelliousness, are all viable and likely negative consequences a teen will experience if he or she is making poor choices.
are effective deterrents. If any of these four things are not in place, it will drastically affect success. MONITORING TO SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION Monitoring is essential in the administration of any rules. Imagine for instance, if our highways were not monitored by law enforcement. What if a business did not monitor production and quality? As parents, we must provide a safety net for our children by monitoring their behavior and successful completion of chores. How much we have to monitor depends on the amount necessary for success. Some teens require little and some require extensive monitoring. Let your teen know that you will be monitoring their behavior. This will keep them from being offended when they notice it and give them added incentive to follow the rules. Monitoring may occur in many ways. For instance, in regard to academics × Academics
Academics /ac·a·dem·ics/ n. Noun Academics is related to education. Its definition is anything relating to studies that are liberal or classical rather and also technical or vocational. Today in the world of academia new demands for structure and curriculum are a usual case. The Academic programs today are constantly being improved. However, academics will always relate somehow to the self-improvement of a person’s mind through the use of different types of studying and also through technical and practical work. Academics also relates to the belonging to or the relating to a place of learning more specifically: college, university or academy and also any place of the furthering towards a higher education of any degree.
, most schools will assist you in providing daily or weekly reports, or you may choose to occasionally drop into your child’s classroom which lets them know just how far you are willing to go to see them through successfully. Random drug tests can assure compliance and sobriety. Use of a vehicle may be monitored through odometer checks. You may also "cross-check" with other parents on compliance with curfews and confirmation of activities performed. You may even want to drive by a designated activity just to check. CONSISTENCY The hardest, yet most important thing parents can do is to be consistent. A rule, or understanding, that is not enforced can be the same as having no rule at all and can undermine the well being of a family. In order for our teens to feel safe, they need to know they can count on us to be consistent and dependable. If a violation occurs, we need to consistently enforce the PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED consequence. A difficult teen will test the boundaries at every chance to see what their true limits will be. That makes consistency so essential. Letting small things slide until they become large things will create chaos, confusion and resentment. While most of us do this from time to time, it is very ineffective parenting. Consistency is the key. Follow through on what you said you would do. Sporadic enforcement does NOT work. Only those parents CONSISTENTLY ENFORCING their rules will have their rules followed. CONSEQUENCES AND DETERRENTS Consequences should vary depending on the violation as well as the teens response to the consequence. Some teens may respond to the loss of a privilege to go out, while others may not be bothered at all. The key is: (1) to use consequences with significant meaning to your child. (2) the severity of the consequences should match the severity of the violation Research has shown that immediate consequences are the most effective. However, some behaviors are so severe that an immediate consequence would not be strong enough by itself. That is why a combination of immediate consequences with some follow-up consequences is often needed. Immediate consequences might include such things as writing essays, time-out, room restriction, or a work project. If these steps do not work or were implemented after the teens behavior became out of control please call for expert advice regarding a wide range of issues such as substance abuse, immaturity, poor school performance, disrespectful towards parents to name a few. Our child placing specialists are available anytime at 866-417-8579. Articles:Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your LifeTop 5 Signs of Depression in MenClinical Depression Treatment InformationThe Flip Side of Depression: Cycling Without a BicycleFamily MeetingsSchool Success Tips For Your ADHD Child“Discipline Tips” for Troubled TeensThe Danger of Treating Teens like ChildrenTroubled Teens ProgramsBringing Postive Change | Sunset Bay AcademyParenting Teenage Boys | Mount Pleasant AcademyTreatment Centers for Troubled Girls | Re-Creation RetreatFamily Solutions Teen Help | Wingate Wilderness TherapyHelping Troubled Teen Parents | Sunset Bay AcademyHelp for Troubled GirlsParent Tip to Help Troubled Teens | Wingate Wilderness TherapyHelp For Young Adults | At the CrossroadsAlternative Treatments For Children With ADHDBefore Using Depression MedicationsDiscipline Your Teen Effectively At A Boot Camp